Learned a lesson today. Don't forget the pain killers. I'm not ready yet. I did some light housework this morning. Melvin took me to the video store and I went to the chiropracter to get adjusted. I also made a lunch appt for Friday. I think that is kind of daring for me but my appetite is getting better everyday. I have switched from Ensure to boost and it does taste a little better. I am trying to concentrate on eating foods that are high in protein. I am trying to build up more endurance but really need to start walking and trying to get out on the golf course. Going to eat dinner. Have a good one. KTPC I still need them as I still have a lot of healing to go....Love

Went out tonight

For the first time since my last chemo I went out to eat. I didn't eat much and my stomach is rumbling but I got out. I also went to the post office this morning. Just for everyone to note while all of this has been going on I have been working on state golf tournaments, taking entries, recording them in computer, and on and on. There were days I really rather wouldn't have been doing it and a few days the work might have even set me back. but as a woman of my word I have kept my responsibility beyond my best capability.
I have been told by a friend and pharmacist the best way to get myself back is to force feed myself the ensure. The stuff gags me. So I found some ice cream and ended up trying to make a shake out of it. I may never drink milk shakes again but it make the ensure tolerable. Something has to make these taste better if anyone has any other ideas please email me or post a comment. I'm in a catch 22 in that I don't have any energy because I'm not eating enough but I can't over eat because my stomach can't take it.
I am waiting to see if I lose any more of my hair. It was about this time after the first chemo that I lost my hair so I keep expecting to lose more. And then I wonder how long it will take for it to start growing again. Anyone have any insight on this one? Again I would appreciate some input. I know I have some people reading the blog that have gone through this so your comments would be greatly appreciated. I'm going to close for now. KTPC and my love to all

Still slow

I am doing a little better each day. I still am napping 2 hours each day. And very much of anything beyond walking around the house exhausts me. I usually have about 2 hours of bad time which my body adjusts or does something (I won't go into details). I also have some very sore spots that I have to address and are giving me problems in sitting. But I am trying to eat more. Food is more appetizing. I just have to be careful not to overload my stomach because I dearly pay if I do. A full meal for me is a pudding cup filled with a little meat a little veg and some applesauce. This all in one cup. Or I can eat 1/2 of a sandwich. I still have to be very careful of dairy products, which I hate because they have so much protein in them. I need the protein very badly to start rebuilding all the cells that have been killed off.
Melvin is playing golf again so you know I must be doing better or he wouldn't be leaving me. I know this is not much news but actually that is a good thing. I definitely don't want a set back. I hope you all have a nice evening. KTPC Love to all

Slowly so slowly

Hey everyone, (That is a weak hey) I am still on the couch. I have spent my whole summer on the couch. A question came up at the dinner table (which I tried sitting at even though I'm not eating much) and I answered the question from all the tv I have been watching. My throat has improved enough that I can eat, the problem is my stomach is not really ready to accept food. I can eat a small piece of cheese and a little applesauce or a few spoons of vegies of some kind. But that's it. If I remember correctly it was two weeks before I could even think of eating meat and other heavy foods. So I will look forward to that this coming week. Some of my lower sore areas are starting to heal. I still have several areas a couple of them really bad but I am seeing some improvement. I still don't try to travel very far from a bathroom.
A love story. About 3 nights ago I was taking med for my mouth at night. Night time does not agree with my stomach. Melvin was already in bed tucked in. One medication I have to use as a mouthwash makes me gag severly. In the middle of having a bout of almost throwing up he is at my side rubbing my back. That may not sound like much to you but this is a man that can't stand to hear look or smelll at anything and he gags. Enough said.
Tomorrow he is going out of town to play a course he has never had the opportunity to play. We have friends (the guy will be playing with him) and the wife is going to come over and check on me. I really wanted him to go as he has had to cancel so many opportunities to play this summer. He will leave early but be home by 5.
Scott made a comment tonight that he had never seen my legs look so thin. The problem is I don't have much muscle tone left either. I'm going to have a lot of work to do this winter to get my muscle tone built back up. Scott also said he thought I may want to put some weight back on. He knows how to be a diplomat.
Appreciate each and every one of you for all you do. Hopefully the posts will become more and more positive. KTPC Love

I would like to say I am a little bit better but not by much. I am one walking ooz pit. I am really ready for my mouth to get better as there isn't anything I can eat and I hate ensure. I am getting down yogurt and liquid. I am afraid to do dairy because of aggrevating the diarrhea. I know this hasn't been very positive but I wanted to post something at least every other day. Some of you are following so faithfully I'm afraid you will get worried. I appreciate each and everyone of you. Love to all. KTPC

More truth and ugly

Good news bad news. All of my treatment is over. Both chemo and radiation. Radiation is a funny thing. It sneaks up on you. After 20 treatments there was a little soreness (enough to use a pillow to sit) but after 26 I have 2nd degree burns all over my bottom area. Now I have blisters all over that are popping. My underwear is soaked from the blister water. Skin is peeling off in chunks some as large as my hand. And no area has been spared. I repeat ladies, no area has been spared. I was given topical pain medication for the pain. I might mention when my doc had me pull down my pants to see how things were going her voice choked with what she saw. She asked Mel if he would assist me in applying the pain med and he told me later he is afraid to touch me with the way it looks.
Now add to that diarrhea and vomiting have started and my mouth is all nasty again and those of you that have called know why I am not talking on the phone. Needless to say with all of this I have lost about another 5 lbs.
I am hoping I will be doing better by next week. Doc said better but it would be about 2 weeks for the radiation effects to get a lot better. That should be the same amount of time I need to recoop from the side effects from the chemo. So, I need to close this as other things are calling. Please add comments or send emails. KTPC Love to all

Here's the truth and it's not pretty

First of all I want to tell you for my birthday yesterday Melvin got me 1 doz red roses. He felt so bad he couldn't take me to dinner or do anything for me other than be there for me. The roses are beautiful and I am thoroughly enjoying them even though I can't smell them (due to nausea).

So I thought it was time to give you all some insight into what I am going through. I know I have kind of doing that but this will give you a total picture.

Starting from the head down. I have small headaches about 50% of the time. I am having a huge amount of mucous drainage for which I am taking medicine. My sense of smell is extremely sensitive. Any little funky smell and I get very nauseated. My mouth feels like it has been burned and I have the nastiest taste in my mouth. Nothing will get rid of it. My teeth and gums hurt. I feel semi nauseated all the time. (I'm taking medicine for that also). I also alternate between chills and being hot. (But no temperature)
Below the belt. From the hair line in the private area I am bright red from burns. This continues to the back with the burns going about 1=2 inches beyond where my leg attaches to my body. So needless to say any underwear is a killer. I have burns extending out on the cheeks of the butt again about 2-3 inches. I get to put salve on all the burn areas 3 times a day. It helps for about 2 hours.
So everything above the belt is from the chemo. Everything below the belt is from radiation. I have been told the radiation effects will leave faster than the chemo effects even though the radiation will keep working for 1 month after I finish treatment. (Monday is my last day) Tomorrow I get disconnected from the chemo. With the side effects I am currently having I am hoping that my side effects aren't worse the second week like they were after the first chemo. I know it will probably take a week after I am disconnected to start feeling human again. But I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope all of you realize this was written for informational purposes. The next time you know someone going through chemo and or radiation you will realize that saying hope you have a great day isn't quite what you want to say. There really aren't any great days. There are bad days and days not so bad. Prayers are the best and letting the person know you are there for them. Which all of you have done for me and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it and love you for it.
Hopefully the rest of this blog will be about my recovery and way back to decent health. Hope you have a great weekend. KTPC Rose