Learned a lesson today. Don't forget the pain killers. I'm not ready yet. I did some light housework this morning. Melvin took me to the video store and I went to the chiropracter to get adjusted. I also made a lunch appt for Friday. I think that is kind of daring for me but my appetite is getting better everyday. I have switched from Ensure to boost and it does taste a little better. I am trying to concentrate on eating foods that are high in protein. I am trying to build up more endurance but really need to start walking and trying to get out on the golf course. Going to eat dinner. Have a good one. KTPC I still need them as I still have a lot of healing to go....Love

Went out tonight

For the first time since my last chemo I went out to eat. I didn't eat much and my stomach is rumbling but I got out. I also went to the post office this morning. Just for everyone to note while all of this has been going on I have been working on state golf tournaments, taking entries, recording them in computer, and on and on. There were days I really rather wouldn't have been doing it and a few days the work might have even set me back. but as a woman of my word I have kept my responsibility beyond my best capability.
I have been told by a friend and pharmacist the best way to get myself back is to force feed myself the ensure. The stuff gags me. So I found some ice cream and ended up trying to make a shake out of it. I may never drink milk shakes again but it make the ensure tolerable. Something has to make these taste better if anyone has any other ideas please email me or post a comment. I'm in a catch 22 in that I don't have any energy because I'm not eating enough but I can't over eat because my stomach can't take it.
I am waiting to see if I lose any more of my hair. It was about this time after the first chemo that I lost my hair so I keep expecting to lose more. And then I wonder how long it will take for it to start growing again. Anyone have any insight on this one? Again I would appreciate some input. I know I have some people reading the blog that have gone through this so your comments would be greatly appreciated. I'm going to close for now. KTPC and my love to all

Still slow

I am doing a little better each day. I still am napping 2 hours each day. And very much of anything beyond walking around the house exhausts me. I usually have about 2 hours of bad time which my body adjusts or does something (I won't go into details). I also have some very sore spots that I have to address and are giving me problems in sitting. But I am trying to eat more. Food is more appetizing. I just have to be careful not to overload my stomach because I dearly pay if I do. A full meal for me is a pudding cup filled with a little meat a little veg and some applesauce. This all in one cup. Or I can eat 1/2 of a sandwich. I still have to be very careful of dairy products, which I hate because they have so much protein in them. I need the protein very badly to start rebuilding all the cells that have been killed off.
Melvin is playing golf again so you know I must be doing better or he wouldn't be leaving me. I know this is not much news but actually that is a good thing. I definitely don't want a set back. I hope you all have a nice evening. KTPC Love to all

Slowly so slowly

Hey everyone, (That is a weak hey) I am still on the couch. I have spent my whole summer on the couch. A question came up at the dinner table (which I tried sitting at even though I'm not eating much) and I answered the question from all the tv I have been watching. My throat has improved enough that I can eat, the problem is my stomach is not really ready to accept food. I can eat a small piece of cheese and a little applesauce or a few spoons of vegies of some kind. But that's it. If I remember correctly it was two weeks before I could even think of eating meat and other heavy foods. So I will look forward to that this coming week. Some of my lower sore areas are starting to heal. I still have several areas a couple of them really bad but I am seeing some improvement. I still don't try to travel very far from a bathroom.
A love story. About 3 nights ago I was taking med for my mouth at night. Night time does not agree with my stomach. Melvin was already in bed tucked in. One medication I have to use as a mouthwash makes me gag severly. In the middle of having a bout of almost throwing up he is at my side rubbing my back. That may not sound like much to you but this is a man that can't stand to hear look or smelll at anything and he gags. Enough said.
Tomorrow he is going out of town to play a course he has never had the opportunity to play. We have friends (the guy will be playing with him) and the wife is going to come over and check on me. I really wanted him to go as he has had to cancel so many opportunities to play this summer. He will leave early but be home by 5.
Scott made a comment tonight that he had never seen my legs look so thin. The problem is I don't have much muscle tone left either. I'm going to have a lot of work to do this winter to get my muscle tone built back up. Scott also said he thought I may want to put some weight back on. He knows how to be a diplomat.
Appreciate each and every one of you for all you do. Hopefully the posts will become more and more positive. KTPC Love

I would like to say I am a little bit better but not by much. I am one walking ooz pit. I am really ready for my mouth to get better as there isn't anything I can eat and I hate ensure. I am getting down yogurt and liquid. I am afraid to do dairy because of aggrevating the diarrhea. I know this hasn't been very positive but I wanted to post something at least every other day. Some of you are following so faithfully I'm afraid you will get worried. I appreciate each and everyone of you. Love to all. KTPC

More truth and ugly

Good news bad news. All of my treatment is over. Both chemo and radiation. Radiation is a funny thing. It sneaks up on you. After 20 treatments there was a little soreness (enough to use a pillow to sit) but after 26 I have 2nd degree burns all over my bottom area. Now I have blisters all over that are popping. My underwear is soaked from the blister water. Skin is peeling off in chunks some as large as my hand. And no area has been spared. I repeat ladies, no area has been spared. I was given topical pain medication for the pain. I might mention when my doc had me pull down my pants to see how things were going her voice choked with what she saw. She asked Mel if he would assist me in applying the pain med and he told me later he is afraid to touch me with the way it looks.
Now add to that diarrhea and vomiting have started and my mouth is all nasty again and those of you that have called know why I am not talking on the phone. Needless to say with all of this I have lost about another 5 lbs.
I am hoping I will be doing better by next week. Doc said better but it would be about 2 weeks for the radiation effects to get a lot better. That should be the same amount of time I need to recoop from the side effects from the chemo. So, I need to close this as other things are calling. Please add comments or send emails. KTPC Love to all

Here's the truth and it's not pretty

First of all I want to tell you for my birthday yesterday Melvin got me 1 doz red roses. He felt so bad he couldn't take me to dinner or do anything for me other than be there for me. The roses are beautiful and I am thoroughly enjoying them even though I can't smell them (due to nausea).

So I thought it was time to give you all some insight into what I am going through. I know I have kind of doing that but this will give you a total picture.

Starting from the head down. I have small headaches about 50% of the time. I am having a huge amount of mucous drainage for which I am taking medicine. My sense of smell is extremely sensitive. Any little funky smell and I get very nauseated. My mouth feels like it has been burned and I have the nastiest taste in my mouth. Nothing will get rid of it. My teeth and gums hurt. I feel semi nauseated all the time. (I'm taking medicine for that also). I also alternate between chills and being hot. (But no temperature)
Below the belt. From the hair line in the private area I am bright red from burns. This continues to the back with the burns going about 1=2 inches beyond where my leg attaches to my body. So needless to say any underwear is a killer. I have burns extending out on the cheeks of the butt again about 2-3 inches. I get to put salve on all the burn areas 3 times a day. It helps for about 2 hours.
So everything above the belt is from the chemo. Everything below the belt is from radiation. I have been told the radiation effects will leave faster than the chemo effects even though the radiation will keep working for 1 month after I finish treatment. (Monday is my last day) Tomorrow I get disconnected from the chemo. With the side effects I am currently having I am hoping that my side effects aren't worse the second week like they were after the first chemo. I know it will probably take a week after I am disconnected to start feeling human again. But I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope all of you realize this was written for informational purposes. The next time you know someone going through chemo and or radiation you will realize that saying hope you have a great day isn't quite what you want to say. There really aren't any great days. There are bad days and days not so bad. Prayers are the best and letting the person know you are there for them. Which all of you have done for me and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it and love you for it.
Hopefully the rest of this blog will be about my recovery and way back to decent health. Hope you have a great weekend. KTPC Rose

At 9:30 tonight I will be half way thru my chemo. I am having trouble writing this as I am laying down and my stomach is acting up. I have a feeling I will be needing my nausea medication before long. I just hope it takes care of the problem. My nose has also started acting up. Some smells make me sick. That is an indication my food consumption will start going down. So, if I don't write tomorrow you know it has become a major feat to do so. At least I will have the PGA championship to entertain me over the next 2 days. Thank you for all of your prayers and cards. Love to all

2 lb weight on my hip

I made it through getting hooked up to chemo today. Everyday I am told something different. Do the docs not know how frustrating this is for someone who feels so out of control anyway? Today I was informed the chemo would be for 5 days not 4. We made the guy prove it by showing us the written orders by the doc because we were definitely told 4 days. So I will be disconnected on Sat morning. The plus side is supposedly this is not as strong as the first one and of course I don't have one drug at all. Which should be better. He also said that after I get through with the treatment the first week after will be a side effect week but after that I should get better quickly if I make an effort to do so. Quickly of course means several months but that is for 90% recovery. I also don't have to have the chemo bag changed every day I have enough in one pouch to last until I'm through. So that will be one less hassle also. On Saturday someone will arrive at my house at promptly 9 something to disconnect me as I was hooked up at 9 something. (9:20) 120 hours of continuous crap....
I have to admit I'm already getting a taste in my mouth. It's not bad its not good its just annoying. But that will be the guy that will cut down my appetite because I get to the point I can't taste much.
I did want to tell you I ran into a friend of mine at BPS on Friday. She is going through her 2nd cancer treatment. With the same docs that I have. It is a different type of cancer but still talking to her just made me feel so good. I didn't feel like I was so alone out there. I mean I see all the people in the docs offices getting treatment and know there are large amounts of people in similar situations but to sit down and compare notes particularly when she has had previous experience was just relief or I don't know it's hard to describe.
So, I will keep all of you posted. The second countdown will start after I sleep with my little guy (pump/chemo) tonight. KTPC this week and next week will be biggies. Love to all

Another day another experience

Yesterday I surprised myself. I wanted Melvin to take me to Bass Pro Shop so I could look/purchase about 4 items. For those of you who have been in the store know it is huge. I thought I would have to sit and direct Melvin but I walked to the back corner of the store and then to the 2nd floor and looked around up there. I then walked to where the car was parked. After that we went to the pharmacy at MSU and the gals have been asking about me so I went in to say hi to them. Then I had my back adjusted because I was having back pain. I did sleep for about a hour in the afternoon but then we went out to Old Chicago for a nice early birthday celebration. Unfortunately when I got up this morning I found out there was more to my back pain.
I had all the symptoms of urinary tract infection. Now my radiation doc has been expecting this because the main question for her is are you peeing ok? So I call the office thinking I will get an oncall doc with it being Saturday, and instead I was told to go to urgent care. So Mel and I head out at 8:30 this morning to urgent care and guess what, I was right. So now I'm on antibiotics for the urinary tract infection. What fun!
I can tell that I have gained some strength so I'm glad about that. I want everything I have to face this next round of chemo.
I hope you are having a good weekend. It was really hot today but it is supposed to be cooler tomorrow and next week. KTPC Look for next weeks adventures! Love you

Hairless?

I'm not growing any hair anyplace. It has been a week since I have had to shave. Ladies, don't get excited the trade off is not worth it. I am still losing bits of hair on my head. I actually have 1 bald spot. I'm waiting until I look like a little old man with fringe. I'm actually hoping it does that because with a cap it still looks like I have some hair. I'm really hoping I don't lose my eyebrows and eyelashes. I just can't imagine that.
I ended up going into the doc office yesterday (unplanned) because I was getting very nervous about the next round of chemo and the lack of info anyone was telling me. I did get someone to sit down and answer our questions. I found out that someone will come to where I have radiation and they will use one of the doc offices to "hook me up". I will get my anti nausea med first but this time I will not get the one drug that only lasts for one hour. After the anti nausea drug I will go straight to the 24 hour drip. They will put it on a portable pump in a pack with it hooked into my port and off I go. Each day when I go to radiation there will be someone there to change the bag until Friday when they unhook me. Sounds simple enough. If only it goes that easy.
I have been feeling pretty good today. I did have about a 2 hour nap this morning. But it allowed me to make a couple of phone calls and visit with Scott when he came over for awhile. And I did do about 10 minutes of house cleaning after I came home from radiation. So it wasn't a completely worthless day.
We have the weekend coming up. I hope everyone has a good one. It is supposed to be pretty warm here so I will staying inside keeping myself occupied (as usual). KTPC Love to all

I had a pretty good day yesterday. I felt like I could do just a little around the house. Today was different. I don't know if it was because of what I did yesterday or just one of those days. Some days are definitely better than others.
I think part of the problem today was I sat for a longer time than I should have when my pain med was nearing wear off time. I have to kind of plan when I sit. Right now I am semi lying on the couch. Thank goodness for batteries and wireless networking. The radiation doc said I looked like I was doing better but warned me of the future (next week). I did ask about the med that I have to apply with gloves and the nurse said it is a big to do over the fact they want a sterile enviornment. She said I could apply it with my hands just as long as I washed them before and after of course. So evidently it isn't as potent as what the instructions said.
Ken, I enjoyed your comments and memories. Others that read it are going to wonder what kind of family I married into but I declare it is the best. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Hope everyone is having a good week. Love to all

One more side effect

Hi Everyone,
Just when it seems things are starting to smooth out something else comes up. On Friday, I found some bumps in areas I am not supposed to have bumps. I called the radiation doc and they prescribed me a new (another) med because this is a type of infection. The medicine is scary. The directions are you are supposed to apply it with gloves and double wash your hands. So I'm wondering if I'm going to have any underwear left after using this stuff. I mean will it burn holes in my underwear? Can I expect to be walking around and all of sudden have strings surrounding me? Oh well, I guess I will wait and see on that one.
Hope all of you are having a good weekend. It started out rainy here but is starting to clear up and is supposed to be clear all day tomorrow. Scott and his girl are supposed to come over tomorrow to cook Mel and I dinner. Scott's girl is from a farm and they butchered chickens with Scott kind of helping so he brought us some chickens. But that is another story. Hope you have a good Sunday. KTPC Love to all.